Day 668-Hypocrite

I’m a hypocrite. Or at best, a bad liar. I’m able to go and have dinner with a friend, and laugh, as if everything that happened to me was harmless. Joke like revenge doesn’t feel necessary, shrug off the months and months of pain you have caused me. But then every night, more than anything in the world, I wish we were talking again. I beg people not to go to sleep because I can’t stand to be alone with the memory of you. And that really, really, hurts, in case you ever wonder. I bought a ten pack of rings and realized that one looks like hers. I can’t wear that one anymore.

Without meaning to, I search for you everywhere. In faces, in magazines, T.V. and out in public, I’d love to ask if you do the same, but I don’t want to know the answer.

I don’t want any answers, I just want you here. But I don’t have anything. I have stuffed animals, and blankets and pillows to hide under, but they can’t stop nighttime and they can’t stop me from missing you.

I know you don’t read this, but pick up the fucking phone, I’m so sick of being sick. And you promised to never leave.

About masterpieceofadisaster

Alias: Kuckoo Savant
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One Response to Day 668-Hypocrite

  1. ihatepoetry says:

    This is painful to read. There are some things that are under your control and many things that are not. Please remember that people are fallible, and people can lie, and people can let you down. For whatever reason, he’s let you down. All you can do is decide you’re tired of this pain, and resolve to move forward with what you can control. There is so much more in this world than this. Don’t miss it. Love you.

    Liked by 1 person

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