Today is without a doubt, absolute shit. Yesterday, an acquaintance, even younger than me, had a second baby. I climbed into bed and was unable to do anything for the rest of yesterday. Today I didn’t get up until 2, managed to take medicine, and sobbed in the kitchen for a while. It’s not just the kid thing, which is bad enough, I’m having constant dreams about him, And her. All of them. So I even fight sleep now. I’m not even mad anymore, really, I just want things to go back and be good again. Because for a while, things were really really good.
I described him to my friend as “like Jesus, but real.”
He pulled me out of my pit and helped me along for a while, but our falling out has left m not in a pit, but in quicksand, because it hurts to breathe.
And there’s no one in sight to save me.