Category Archives: Uncategorized

I won’t

I won’t write about you. I won’t write about the excitement of finding somebody who understood me. To feel needed and valued. To have someone I could rely on. I won’t write about arriving and feeling like part of something … Continue reading

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Absence

I have not been able to sit and write for the last few weeks, as I have joined an outpatient psychiatric program. This entailed going to “group” for six hours every day the first few weeks, though now it’s down … Continue reading

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You’ve got to be kidding me

Today, I learned that an acquaintance of mine, who is younger than me, is pregnant with her third child. Kinda speechless right now. I know that I’m not having my own kid, and I know the reasons why I’m not … Continue reading

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Before and After

With my heart this broken, decimated mess, time takes on different meaning. Days and nights blur together into one, one long existence of sleeping or trying to get back to sleep. Feeling the pain or trying to avoid it. There … Continue reading

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1 year after

Yesterday, despite attempts to turn off such notifications, my Facebook reminded me that exactly a year ago, I came home from my stay in Missouri. Which of course sent me into another emotional tailspin where I couldn’t get out of … Continue reading

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Envy and Jealousy

Thanks mind. I wake up past one in the morning and can’t get my mind to shut up to go back to sleep. Instead I think of people that I hate thinking about. IF i could, i would get deep … Continue reading

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Dreaming

I had dreams about him last night. Though I can only remember one of them. We were on some kind of Vespa, and he was going too fast and we crashed. He didn’t look hurt, or bad, or anything. He … Continue reading

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